Is my child addicted to the phone? A screen-time self-check for parents

This check is for parents and carers who are worried about a child's phone, tablet, TV or gaming use. It looks at the effects of screens rather than the number of hours: how your child reacts when asked to stop, whether screens are cutting into sleep, schoolwork, outdoor play and friendships, whether screen use is secret, and how often it causes arguments at home.

Ten questions make up the score. One of them describes something helpful: whether your child can stop when asked, with only a little complaint. Two more questions are not scored. They ask whether your child has seemed very sad or withdrawn for two weeks or more, and whether your child has talked about wanting to die or about hurting themselves. They are there because heavy screen use sometimes goes together with low mood, and those signs need attention whatever the score.

Think about your child over the past month. For the ten scored questions, “Rarely or never” scores 0, “Sometimes” 1, “Often” 2 and “Almost always” 3. The question about stopping when asked is scored the other way round. The total runs from 0 to 30: 0–9 suggests screen use looks mostly balanced, 10–19 shows some warning signs, and 20–30 suggests screen use may be a serious problem.

If you say your child has often seemed very sad or withdrawn for two weeks or more, the result adds a note recommending a professional assessment. Any answer other than “Never” to the question about wanting to die or self-harm shows you, straight away, what to do and where to get help.

Our team at Dr. MR Siddique Psychiatry Centre wrote the questions in English and Bangla together; the Bangla is not a translation of any published questionnaire. The questions and score ranges have not been tested in research. Because a parent answers, the result describes what you have noticed, not how your child feels inside; talking with your child is a good way to learn more. Your answers are scored in your browser and are never sent to us.

A lower score suggests screens fit around your child's life. A middle score usually means screens are starting to crowd out sleep, study or time together. A higher score suggests screen use is causing serious problems, and that family rules have been hard to keep.

Many children and teenagers find it hard to put screens down, so a high score is not a judgement on your parenting. It is a sign to look more closely at what is happening. Research reviews link more screen time with more depressive symptoms in young people, but find little evidence for a single safe number of hours⁴. The Royal College of Psychiatrists advises looking beyond screen time to what children see and do online⁵.

Heavy screen use is sometimes a way of coping with something else. In a study of school students in northern Bangladesh, adolescents with more gaming problems more often reported little parental supervision, a strained relationship with their parents, bullying or loneliness³.

Agree screen rules together as a family, and follow them yourselves too. UNICEF's advice for parents includes talking with children early and often about technology, responding calmly when they report a problem online, and setting family boundaries that make sense¹. Steps many families find useful:

• Keep bedrooms screen-free at night. Charge phones and tablets outside the bedroom so that sleep comes first⁶.
• Make meals and family time screen-free, for adults as well as children.
• Agree clear, consistent rules. Decide together when and where screens are used, and what happens when time is up.
• Give a five- or ten-minute warning before it is time to stop.
• Encourage offline activities. Outdoor play, sport, hobbies and seeing friends in person help fill the gap⁶.
• Be curious, not suspicious. Ask what your child enjoys and how they feel online, so that they are more likely to tell you if something upsets them¹.
• Show the habits you want to see, for example by keeping your own phone away at meals⁶.
• Stay calm and consistent when rules are broken, and use the consequences you agreed in advance.

Our guide to children's screen time has more ideas for families.

For younger children, the World Health Organization advises no screen time for sitting and watching before the age of 2, and no more than one hour a day for 2- to 4-year-olds, with less being better².

Arrange an assessment with a qualified professional who works with children and teenagers, such as a BMDC-registered psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist, if screen use is leading to:

• refusing to go to school;
• very little sleep;
• aggression when devices are taken away; or
• your child seeming sad, anxious or withdrawn.

Sometimes anxiety, low mood or ADHD lie behind heavy screen use, and a professional can look at what is driving it and guide the whole family. Our page on child and adolescent mental health describes other signs to watch for.

If your child talks about wanting to die or about hurting themselves, take it seriously and get help the same day. Stay with your child, listen calmly, and move medicines, sharp objects and pesticides out of reach. If there is danger now, call 999 or go to the nearest hospital emergency department.