Is my anger a problem? A 3-minute anger self-check

Anger is a normal emotion. It can become a problem when it comes very often, lasts a long time, or comes out in ways that hurt you or other people¹. This self-check looks at those patterns.

Its questions ask how easily small things irritate you, how long it takes you to calm down, whether you shout, say hurtful things, or break or throw things, whether you regret what you said or did, and whether people around you seem careful or afraid to tell you things. It also asks about anger you feel in your body, holding on to anger and thinking about getting even, and the problems anger has caused at home, at work or with friends. One question asks whether you can pause before you react, which is a helpful skill.

The last question asks whether, when angry, you have hurt someone or come close to it. Any answer other than “Never” shows you straight away what to do if anyone is in danger.

Answer for the past month. For most questions, “Rarely or never” scores 0, “Sometimes” 1, “Often” 2 and “Almost always” 3. The question about pausing before you react is scored the other way round. The last question, about hurting someone or coming close to it, has its own answers: “Never” 0, “Once or twice” 1, “Sometimes” 2 and “Often” 3. All eleven answers count, so the total runs from 0 to 33: 0–10 suggests your anger seems manageable, 11–21 that it is causing some strain, and 22–33 that it is causing serious problems.

If you say you have hurt someone or come close to it, the result also adds a note recommending professional help, whatever your total.

Our team at Dr. MR Siddique Psychiatry Centre wrote the questions in English and Bangla together; the Bangla is not a translation of any published questionnaire. The questions and score ranges have not been tested in research, and they are written for you to answer about yourself. Your answers are scored in your browser and are never sent to us.

A lower score suggests you usually handle anger without much harm. A middle score suggests anger is causing some strain, perhaps through arguments that go too far or regret afterwards. A higher score suggests anger is hurting you and the people around you, and that it is time to get support.

Anger often has something underneath it. Stress, poor sleep, pain, worries about money or work, alcohol or drug use, and low mood can all make people quicker to anger. Irritability can also be a sign of depression, which the World Health Organization describes as low mood or loss of interest most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks². If you have been irritable most days for weeks, along with low mood, poor sleep or loss of interest, that is worth checking. You can read more about anger and irritability.

NHS advice on managing anger includes¹:

• Learn your early warning signs. A racing heart, faster breathing, a tight jaw or clenched fists can tell you anger is rising before you act on it.
• Pause and slow down. Count to ten and breathe slowly before you speak.
• Step away. If anger is rising, leave the room for ten minutes, and come back to talk once you are calm.
• Exercise. A brisk walk, a run or sport can release tension.
• Look after yourself. Enough sleep, regular meals, and avoiding alcohol and drugs make it easier to stay calm.
• Talk about how you feel with someone you trust, once you have calmed down.

Other steps that help many people:

• Notice when you keep replaying a situation or planning to get even. Doing something absorbing for a while can break the loop.
• Say what upset you without blaming, for example: “I felt ignored when that happened.”
• Repair the damage. Where your anger has hurt someone, saying sorry and owning what happened can help rebuild trust.

If people at home are afraid of you, take it seriously. Managing anger is a skill that can be learned, and a clinical psychologist or counsellor can help you learn it.

Get help soon from a qualified professional, such as a BMDC-registered psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist, if:

• you have hurt someone, or you are afraid you might;
• family members are afraid of you;
• anger comes with drinking or drug use, low mood or very little sleep; or
• anger keeps causing problems at home, at work or with friends.

A clinical psychologist can help through anger-management therapy: cognitive behavioural therapy has strong research support for anger control³. A psychiatrist can check whether depression, stress or substance use is part of the picture. If you are 18 or older and also feel low, the depression self-check (PHQ-9) can help you look at your mood. If you are under 18, please talk to a parent or another adult you trust.

If anyone is in danger right now, call 999. Move away from the situation and from anything that could be used as a weapon. When everyone is safe, talk to a professional soon.

If it is someone else's anger that makes you feel unsafe at home, your safety comes first. If you are in danger now, call 999 or go somewhere safe.